He Fills My Heart With Song . . .

I awake each morning, half surprised that I am still pregnant with this little one. But it always turns into a prayer of thanks . . . the nights of rest are good and I am no longer exhausted to the point of wondering how in the world I will survive until the birth. I awake to sunshine, a loving husband, happy and healthy children, plenty of nourishing food, help from those around me so that I can go into labor rested . . . there is not much to complain about.

We have enjoyed beautiful evenings as a family, out walking or working in the yard. They are all at such tender and impressionable ages.

Zeke had his first swimming lesson last night. I sat with Eden on my lap, watching my boy adjust to a new setting in the midst of three other energetic children who had all taken lessons before. He repeated his name three times when asked, and I'm still not sure the instructor caught it. Today he said to me, "E-z-e-k-i-e-l. Mommy, why when I say this it does not sound like 'E'?" I knew he was thinking back to not being able to communicate like he wanted to. I assume that most kids can enunciate their name before they are able to spell it, right? But not him. We practiced trying to say it more clearly a few times together. I rubbed my hand over his sandy head, "It's all right, bud. You have a pretty big name." He grinned, "July 31st is how you spell my birthday, huh?" :-) 

Charis and Zeke went to Costco with daddy to pick out flowers for me for Mother's Day. Coming back, Charis wanted the cloth from around the flowers on her head like a scarf. She ran around, getting her picture taken and thinking she was pretty pretty. :-) When Zeke handed me brightly colored daisies I knew they were his pick. He was so proud of himself. "I like these blue ones. These pretty, huh, mommy?"

Luke and I hiked Beacon Rock alone not too long ago . . .
It was a perfect morning. My prego belly did plenty of contracting and we went slow.
I love having someone to dream with. I'm glad I didn't marry an average guy who never thinks outside the "work 9 to 5 and live in a neighborhood" box. It may never happen but what could be better than dreaming of sailing, homesteading, wilderness living and whatever else intrigues our minds? I love adventure and somehow it took about 23 years for me to realize that adventure means suffering. Still not sure I know that well . . . certainly not from experience . . . but I see the glee of adventure in Charis' eye and I never want to dampen it. Anyhow, we dreamed a little as we hiked and just had fun being together.

My children, nature, even this time of waiting . . . all of it leaves me in awe of the great love of my Savior. He fills my heart with song. My mind is full of wonder at His great patience and tender love for me; though every part of me in unlovable. He alone has turned darkness to light . . . shame to secure acceptance in the Beloved.

Through Him I have life and breath.

When these days that I know now are over . . . and they will be soon . . . I will never be without Him who is my joy and my portion.