To Love the Lord your God

The reality of it 

Seems to be choking me 
Until I can hardly breath 

In the silence I say the words
The ones I know that now are true
"Oh, Lord.
I do not. I do not love You." 

Thoughts of His loving kindness  
Thoughts of His tender mercy 
They are fresh in the thoughts of my soul 

Yet I pour out the painful truth 
Just to Him 
Who knows already 
More deeply than I could ever know 

"I cannot make myself
Dare I ask for more than what you have done? 
But if I could . . . 
Would you cause me to love You?"

The tears shed are void 
Void of despair 
Void of striving 
Void of pain 

They are tears of simple sorrow 
Sorrow over the state of my soul 
Humbling
Yet much more than that 

Somewhere along this path 
I believed a lie 
The lie that God cared more for how I lived 
Than who I loved 

The lie that how I felt about God 
Just did not matter 
That Christianity was a choice 
A resolve to live for God 

These are bonds of iron 
Lies of destruction 
Ones that do not heed the Word of God 
A precious, patient voice reminds me now 

The greatest of all commandments 
It is to love 
To love the Lord your God 

And so I cease to stagger 
My soul no longer melts with fear 
For I know He hears my cry 
My cry for love 
A love for Him

He restored to me desire 
A desire to love 
A desire to glorify 
He brings me to my desired Haven

 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.

 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

 For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder.

 Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.

 Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.

 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.

 He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.

 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

 And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.

 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;

 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.

 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.

 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.

 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end.

 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.

 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.

 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

PSALM 107:14-30