We spent the weekend with Nana and Papa Strait and then came home and crashed the party at my parents' house . . . my dad was leaving on business the next day and we all wanted to see him and say goodbye.
The kids loved the tractor rides and Papa was even showing Zeke how to work a few things. Real driving, real machines and learning real things is heaven for my little boy!
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I loved last Friday, coming in to help Zeke wash his hair in the shower and hearing him sing, "My God is so great, so strong and so mighty . . . " I smiled to myself.
He understands some pieces. He is putting the truth together slowly.
He wonders. Asks questions.
Then I ask Luke at night . . . "How do I give him opportunity to believe or reject the truth without pushing him or asking him?" I struggle through the thoughts of God choosing, Zeke choosing. Faith alone. Repentance.
Luke prays from them all faithfully. He has since before we were married.
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Sunday was the anniversary of our engagement.
Talk about five full years of change.
I pondered that day. The pouring down rain. The question.
I knew when I said "yes" that this was no cake walk.
I remember telling Luke, "I don't want the average marriage . . . I really want the best for us . . . for us to love each other more with passing time."
I remember him telling me, "There's a reason most people don't have it, Allison. It must be hard."
He was right.
It's downright hard work at times.
But the good times are way way sweeter than I ever thought they could be.
There have been times when I wondered if I could do it. No, not stay married. That's just a given because we promised we would. But I wondered if I could be the wife Scripture lays out. I wondered if I would ever survive the things that seemed like such tests of what I was made up of. The only thing that I have concluded for sure is that without Christ, there is no way. I don't naturally love anyone but me.
I run and fall.
I choose love and sometimes I fail and love myself instead.
But my husband is the most tender, compassionate friend I could have been blessed with. The Lord forgives every time I run back to admit my total need of Him and to beseech Him to teach me to love. Even when it's multiple times a day.
That has made marriage the best thing, this side of heaven.
If he asked again, I'd say, "Yes, yes, yes . . . I will!"
Us . . . Five years ago.
1 comment:
I can tell you that loving yourself is way easier,but loving your spouse more than yourself is more satisfying. Yes,only through Christ in us...and isn't that the way it should be? I can tell you that I'm proud of you as I have NEVER heard you say one negative thing about your husband,EVER! You are an example to me. It does get sweeter. I wouldn't exchange early marriage for what Dad & I have now.
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