With Thankgiving

I find the words coming off my lips without much thought . . .

"It's the night after night after night of working late, getting up early and being interrupted in between because the nights where all the kids sleep good are so few and far between . . . "

"Nothing with the business is going right . . . our first shipment was damaged . . . everything costs more and takes longer. Now Luke is gone another Saturday . . . he's been up since 5am. He must be exhausted. I am exhausted!"

I've never been one to communicate well. And maybe the pendulum is swinging too far to the other side now . . . but I think it is healthier than feeling the end of my tolerance, saying nothing and those around me being frustrated when finding out later down the road. Now I find myself in the kitchen, buried at 11:30pm . . . Luke still working . . . and I just yell out, "I'm fading fast, babe." OR "I'm guna go crazy!" ;-) The thought of it really makes me laugh. This is so not me. And I really don't want this extreme of communication to be me for very long. But right now, it helps.

We've been going through some stuff with Zeke that was enough to plummet me under with no hope for a return. I would find my good little boy being obedient, receiving any necessary correction well, all of us in good fellowship . . . until 11:40am. It was clock work. It used to be around noon (for like the past year). And so Luke and I thought it had to do with him coming home for lunch and there being more than one authority or maybe just struggling with working well with Luke. We had no clue why . . . it didn't make sense. Then we noticed that it worked the other way too. It wasn't just Luke. It was me. Then it started happening earlier and we found that it was neither of us! I've been hypoclgemic for years and I finally started putting things together . . . it is largely a low blood sugar issue. Consistently requiring obedience is a must. But so is giving my little kiddo some protein around 11 o'clock. He's a different child. After an entire year of this being an issue . . . and discouragment was really starting to set in for me because we couldn't seem to get past it . . . I am so grateful that the Lord opened our eyes to this.

It is easy to live with thanksgiving when your body is rested, the kids are being kids but responding well and more money is coming in than going out (not really possible when starting a business :-)). Sunday morning Zeke woke up with the flu. It felt like the climax at the end of a challenging week. I stood in the shower, Luke calling in that he had thrown up three times already and I found myself saying, "Really God, this too?" The verse flashed in my thoughts, "Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thankgiving let your requests be made known to God."

In light of how many Christians around the world live (in persuction, malnurished, etc.) I feel so humbled that I even stuggle for a moment to live a thankful life.

I want to live with joy (not because everything is going right but because my name is written in heaven). I want to go back to that place where I was not long ago . . . when life seemed like an adventure and I was convinced that I was blessed beyond measure. Life is an adventure. I just didn't know that the adventure may include large quantities of bubble wrap, three little kids three and under, six hours of sleep being an amazing feat, and searching to purchase an expensive item that makes no human sense whatsoever. :-) As far as being blessed beyond measure . . . where could I begin? My loving Savior . . . my tender husband . . . my healthy and delightful children.

I am resloved. To live with thanksgiving.

This little girl is all the reason in the world to smile.