Just Remembering . . .

So the lease on our apartment just came to an end and we had a decision to make . . . we've been looking casually at homes and (more recently) just some property to buy with the hopes of building on it. But really, it has been a whole ton of closed doors. We prayed for direction - then signed a year long lease.

I have a feeling that we will be here for a while. And it made me giddy happy. (Not just the being here but how clear God made it that a long lease was what He wanted. My husband looked a little confused by the direction but it made me laugh . . . a lot :-)) I truly love our cozy home.

I was tempted to label myself as content when I was thinking about it this morning. But then the Lord rightly humbled me in my thoughts. He seemed to be whispering the truth that I may not be so happy if the apartment was not new, clean, close to Luke's work, with a washer and dryer right there for me to use whenever . . . and always the means to keep it warm. Content? Not really. Just downright blessed more than I deserve.

Anyhow! I had no intention of writing about leases, homes, and being content. :-)

The year long lease made me realize that I can decorate, paint and whatever without the fear of undoing it all right away because of a move. So I was going through wedding and engagement pictures as I explored some options for framing pictures and making this place more "ours."

It got me thinking about marriage and everything that the Lord has brought me through and taught me in those two short years since engagement.

More than ever before I realize that marriage was never meant to be a god. It was never designed to be a "goal" or something to have as "just so." If it was, it would only glorify us.

For me it came down to pushing aside the details, determining the will of God, and then diving in head first . . . not knowing if it was going to be hard or easy but knowing that whatever it was . . . it was meant to be and would be whatever it would be for life. :-) Knowing that I was not designed to be satisfied by mere man or the institution of marriage. No, I was designed to help. To serve. To die. And in this end I have found so much life. . . joy that seems so genuine that I know it is not of this world.

I do a lot of thinking/praying when I am driving . . . and attempt to not shed too many tears of gratitude so that I can still see. But yesterday I was coming back to thanking the Lord for my husband and my marriage. Knowing what I deserve and yet, what I got instead. It was humbling.

The Lord has done great things for us, whereof we are glad.
PSALM 126:3