I'm Thinkin' Blue

Even before Luke came along I would catch myself day dreaming about being a wife and a mother. Because Jacob and I get along so well and I tend to be more comfortable shooting guns and going hiking than getting dressed up and having a tea party, I always saw myself as a mother to boys. I could see myself making dinner while they played war outside. (Of course, they would play like it was the Civil war, would be fighting for the South, and answer "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to adults. : - )) Thus were my girlish dreams . . .

However, almost as soon as I knew that I was pregnant, I was convinced beyond all doubt that my baby was a girl. Fickle feelings. It didn't help that I was not the only one. Luke, my brother, my aunt, my cousin . . . lots of people just "felt" that it was a girl. Jacob and my dad stood alone, calling the baby a "he." Jacob because he wanted a little nephew. My dad? Just a way to harass me and make me smile.

Yesterday morning I woke up early in intense pain and with symptoms of a kidney infection. That resulted in us driving from Lyle, WA to the hospital in Vancouver . . . which led to an ultrasound of my kidneys. The technician was very sweet - working as quickly as possible because of the intensity of the pain. At one point she wanted to know if we would like to see the baby real quick. Under any other conditions I would have been overjoyed. But the thought of laying on my back for one more moment almost made me lose all social skills and scream, "no!" I'm glad that I contained my imaginary reaction though . . .

Baby was laying in a better position than in the last ultrasound. It was clearly a boy.

I was a little in shock at first I think . . . now I am so crazy excited that I am surprising myself.

I am under orders to rest and get rid of this infection . . . but I am so incredibly tempted to spend today in the baby room. Ya know, there are some clothing selections that are pink that are going to have to be packed away for another little one down the line. : )