Hey guys! Well, I have been posting a lot on here lately. (Mostly because I have a lot on my mind and somehow it helps me clear my thoughts to write things out.) A great big thanks to all of you for "hearing me out." Have words of songs ever just struck you and changed the way you think? Friday night I was messing around, just sight reading some hymns. After the first verse of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" I pretty much had the basic chord progression down. (It is as simple as I, IV, V, right?) Anyhow, I started singing the words in the second verse. I sang, "Hither to Thy love has blest me; Thou has brought me to this place." Right there my chin fell and my hand froze. God totally broke me by those words. God has truly brought me to this place. Before I was born, He had planned that my brother would leave to go to college. He has led me every step of the way to this particular place. Who am I to question His sovereignty? My chin fell in humility as I realized how prideful I had been to be discontent and to question why God was "doing this to me." I never said it that clear but in my heart I was screaming, "Why God?! You know that he is my best friend and that I need him at this point in my life. Why now?"
A gentleman spoke this morning at church about having child like faith. He related it to the fact that his young daughter does not yet ask him the famous question, "Why?" She simply trusts.
God is not going allow a lengthy dialogue explaining the reasoning behind His decisions. He has brought me to this place and I need not ask why. Faith is walking in accordance with God's will and asking no questions. It is to have such confidence in God's leading that results are a mute point and happiness fades into the backdrop. Our Lord is not so concerned with our happiness here on earth. He created heaven for such a purpose. His concern is our righteousness. Pain, loss, trials, and testing are all specially designed instruments used by God to chisel away pride, selfishness and sin.
He has brought me to the place where I am grateful for the sovereign decision that He made. Chris did not choose to go across the country to college. God made that choice. His way His perfect and beautiful in aspects that I am too finite to understand. He leads every step of the way. He gladly puts my hand in His and guides me whenever I yield and exercise childlike faith. A faith that causes me to follow without questioning His chosen path.
1 comment:
In a way I feel I'm in the same ship as you. Chris has become the closest friend I've ever had. I do more with him then my own brother. I was excited when he had decided to stay here and attend Washington State but I knew I was being selfish. I've known all along that he should be going to BJ and study with those that can build him up rather then being with those that have the ability to bring him down. I'm happy he's decided but rather sad in a way because it feels as if I'm losing him. Aren't we lucky?
What can we learn in this? It seems like another lesson in being content in Christ. I won't have someone I can walk next to and explain my frustrations easily.
I know it must be hard for you, but I know God provides what we need and He will not hold His blessing from you.
EMH
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