My heart is split in two

Yes, this is the "Mexico update." With catching up on school and everything, this post is going to be written here and there over a few days. It'll probably turn out really disorganized but ah well, such is life.

My heart really is split in two. I walked over the boarder between Mexico and the U.S. last Saturday afternoon. I paused at the exact boarder and place one foot in Mexico and one in the U.S. It hit me as I did that; part of me is still in Mexico. Before the trip I didn't want to go but I knew that the Lord wanted me to. The last night of the trip I cried. I didn't want to leave. I love the country, the people and the culture. I love seeing the smile on people's faces when I'm able to clean their teeth, help them with a little something or share the gospel with them.

Right now I have been home for 48 hrs and I have realized how much I missed my family. Wow, I'm really so blessed to live where I do and with my wonderful family. But I could easily pack my bags in a few days and go back for a while longer. I fell in love with the family that hosted us. They're such real and gracious people. The Lord taught me so much just through their example. For instance, their oldest son Dickmar is in his mid twenties. My friend Shay and I were getting our hair done on the afternoon that we didn't have clinic. He dropped us and his sister off and then came an hour later to pick us up. When he came to get us he was standing around for a while waiting as the lady finished our hair. He glanced in the mirror and, running his hands through it he mention, "Ah, I've gota make sure to comb my hair when we get back. Dad doesn't want it this way for the dinner." (We were having a dinner that night for some widows.) I sat there like almost dumbfounded. Here he is 24 years old and he doesn't get even slightly agitated that his dad wants his hair combed a certain way! Wow, I was totally convicted about the way that I mentally "buck" when my dad mentions that I look tired and should get to bed before twelve. I say, "Sure dad." But I'm thinking, "Arg, he doesn't know what I have on my plate for school. I could use the extra time and I'm totally able to figure out how much sleep I need." I'm ashamed to even write that. Jeash, what a rotten attitude!!

One of the biggest blessings during the trip was being able to spend time with the older people at the Senior Center. I had never seen people so happy over simple crafts and music. They laughed, danced, sang, hugged us and asked us to come again. Most importantly, we were able to share the gospel with them several times throughout the week.

Another huge blessing was that I was never turned down when I would offer gospel tracts to people. Wow, that is definitely a first experience! They are so grateful for everything and they actually sit down and read the whole thing. It was almost like being on vacation. :D

One thing that was a bit strange was the military checkpoints. I personally thought it added some spice to life. But then again, I only had to live with it for a week. Every morning but one, we were stopped at the checkpoint on our way to the clinic. According to one of the girls on our team, they only stopped the car "with the blonde." Interesting interpretation, eh? She was serious enough to ask me to lay under the seat one time though. Don't worry, I refused. ....and we got pulled over. :-/

I haven't even told ya'll about doing dental work and that is what I spent most of my time doing! Well, I had never done anything dental or medical before so the first day I was given a cram course. I learned how to load the syringe, assist in extractions and fillings, develop the x-rays in the dark room, sterilize the instruments and do a basic cleaning and polish. One day we received 53 patients so everyone was forced to do their best and pitch in doing stuff that needed to be done. Shaylee and I tag-teamed all of the cleanings. Her skills are way superior to mine so she took the tougher patients and I took the young adults and children. At the end of that day everyone was exhausted but it was so worth it. We had helped people improve their health, but more importantly we had shown them Christ's love through our service and attitude as well as providing them with Bibles.

As far as relating everything that the Lord taught me that week. Wow, there are too many things to write down. One major one happened the night before we crossed the boarder into Mexico. I had been talking to one of the girls on the team and something came up that reminded me of a way that someone had offended me in the past. I had actually forgiven the offense before but it came to the surface again and I couldn't believe how angry and bitter I found myself. I brushed it off, hoping that I would just forget about it as I climbed into bed. I tried hard to sleep well my last night in the U.S. but the Lord was convicting me and I finally admitted that sleeping was impossible. I grabbed my Bible and left the room so that I didn't wake everyone else up. I got before the Lord and mentally argued for a few minutes. "Lord, this person didn't even ask for my forgiveness. They aren't even remotely sorry that they hurt me this way. I can't forgive them. How are you going to let them get away with being such a jerk?!" I flipped through my Bible, not exactly sure what I was looking for. The Lord brought to my mind the verse that talks about being a pure vessel, sanctified and useful for the Master. I knew that I couldn't be a pure vessel if I ignored conviction and I knew that the whole trip would be a disaster unless the Lord was working in and through me. After about an hour I finally relented. Now at 1am Sunday morning I was ready for any and every challenge of Mexico. I had access to God's grace and there was nothing between me and my Lord. That fact gave me incredible confidence and I was not disappointed in the amazing acts of the Lord.

As you can see, I could go on forever about my beloved Mexico but I will stop here. :) Ah, I love everything about it. The bumpy roads, no seat belt laws, the humid air, the patient and grateful people...the list goes on. Thank ya'll so much for praying for me and the whole team as we were down there. Praise the Lord for an incredibly wonderful trip!