Krazi Kiddo 1 . . . 2 . . . 3

A very gracious friend offered to do a photo shoot of Eden. I decided ten minutes before running out the door that it would be fun to get some of the kids together so I rummaged around for a few coordinating outfits. I'm so grateful for these as they are the only photos I have of all three of the kids right now.

As I unload and load children from the car I tease them and say, "Ok, I'm ready for crazy kiddo number one." I asked Zeke last week, "Are you crazy kiddo number two?" He smiled and said, "No Ma. Me one. Charis two." He's rather into counting these days. It's fun. He is always trying to get a reaction out of me by skipping numbers. Almost without fail he will say, "One . . . two . . . four!" I so love teaching him simple things as we go and seeing him be filled with the wonder of learning how things work. He counts as we measure cups of flour while we make our bread. He learns his colors as we play "Shapes of Things" (his favorite game). We play it almost every time I nurse Eden.

This is so Charis! Sometimes I feel bad for Charis as she seems so very "stuck in the middle" right now. She's not the baby . . . but she's still a baby herself. She's not old enough to do some of the things I do with Zeke and I have struggled to let her help and be a part of the family as much as I should. It's so much easier to have Zeke help me than to teach Charis how to. But she wants to learn. Today before lunch she started getting napkins for everyone and reaching up to put them on the table. It looked funny . . . she could hardly reach the table top with them.

I love black and white photos . . .

Her eyes are so precious. I love how every time Eden smiles she does it with her whole body. She pulls her legs up, squirms in delight and her whole face lights up.

Even as all consuming as my children are at this season in my life, I truly do not want to make them my life. I'm struggling as I think it through and wondering how this works in day to day life. I want Christ to by my life. I want Him to be my delight. The strength of my life. My portion forever.

I want my marriage to simply be a picture to the world of Christ's relationship to the church. I want my children to simply love the Lord. I want His name to be glorified through their lives. I want it to be all about Him. Less about me.

But my pride makes it all about me. Even my children become about me. About what I can do with them and how I can enjoy them. But oh, they are not here for me!

Right now all that I know to do is check my thoughts and motives by the second . . . always asking, "Is this for someone elses' benefit or mine?" "Am I doing this because I care about what people think of me?" I so want to kick this fear of man thing far far away. I have a feeling that performance parenting can pretty well destory my family.

I have more questions than answers but I'm grateful to know the One who designed the family and made my children . . . the One who loves me and considers me more important than Himself. The One who is the perfect heavenly Father. The One who I want my children to see. The One who I desire that they know through His Word. The One that we pray every night will save them and cause them to love Him.

All photos taken by Robyn Copper, http://www.nateandrobyncopper.blogspot.com/