Dear Little One

My Precious Little One,

Nearly a week ago, I discovered how great a love I already have for you. I was thankful to have you from the beginning. I delighted in the thought of getting to know you. But I did not realize that I loved you . . . yet.

We thought that you were being taken from us early. It was with bitter tears that I hoped it was not true. Daddy and I were told that things did not "look good." We were advised to prepare ourselves for never hearing your little heart beat. I remembered the words in the Bible of Job who said, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

I started to tell the Lord that, if He did take you from us, I would praise Him. But I stopped myself. I knew I was unable. So I told Him that I wanted to praise Him, regardless of His prefect will in the matter . . . if He would only give me the grace to.

The time came when we searched for your heart beat with the doppler. It was the moment I was longing for and wishing would never come. Not knowing meant hope. And it seemed sure that this exercise would end in a lack of it.

But your strong and healthy heart beat was discovered. Praise seemed natural to us . . . but humbling. Our God is always good. In loss and grief. In gain and times of blessing. His perfect will was to keep you with us for a while longer. How long? No one can ever tell. How thankful daddy and I are that our times of life and death our not in our hands. Every detail rests with One who knows all things and has a tender love for us. He loves you more than we could ever possibly.

Things are not perfect and there may be testing yet to come. But maybe He is just drawing us closer to Himself and giving us abundant thankfulness for when we will meet you. We are praying, that one day you will love our Lord Jesus and know what perfect peace there is in a relationship with Him. May you put your trust fully in Him. Striving on your own will never do. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. There is nothing better in earth or heaven but to know Him.

I hope to meet you soon.

Much love, my precious little one.

~Mama