"give me my Jesus"

I push the doubt away. Think not of eternity. Carry on as yesterday with prolonged pride, masks of righteous hypocrisy, and holy behavior. But my soul condemns me daily. There is no rest. And my sin whelms before me as a giant wave of death calling my name . . . and I know that I deserve hell. I fall to my knees. My cry escapes, “I need Jesus.”

I run through this empty world – secretly praying that the pace of life will blur the visions of my pain. Let me dwell no longer in the reality before me. Let me free. Free from this cell of confined secrecy, continual failure, guilt, unrest, and hidden tears. My cry escapes, “Just give me my Jesus.”

The sun warms my face as I lift my eyes to the heavens and thank the Lord for the beauty of where He has brought me. There is all the comfort. There is all of the peace. There is all of the honesty. There is all of the joy. Does my soul still thirst for Him alone? Does my flesh still long for Him? Does my heart still ache when I leave His presence?

Let my cry never cease to be, “Give me my Jesus.”