How can I dread something so much?
How can I excitedly decide to remove it from my life?
Why do I feel a heart wrenching pain and a strange anxiety in letting it go?
Is it the little girl that hugs me every week?
Is it the knowledge that I started to love these children without even knowing it?
Is it the teenager that occupies my thoughts and that God led me to share the gospel with?
Is it the childish joy that I see on their faces and the unexplained joy in my heart from being adored by these children?
I was so sure. Now I am so confused. Fearful. Undecided. Restless.
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