A Changing Will?

This weekend has been difficult. Most of my time has been spent in pacing my bedroom floor, sitting on my bed, and thinking in sleepless nights. I will lose myself in prayer as I begin to pray for direction, only to find myself rejoicing in the fellowship of the Lord. Sometimes I become so lost in His presence that I never receive an answer and yet, somehow, I do not really care because my joy in Him is so full.

About three months ago I started looking into my options for college. I went one step at a time. Praying about it, talking to my parents, looking for work, readjusting my plans, and finally beginning to study. Now I have reached this great huge roadblock and this flat out does not make sense to me. My parents told me the other night that they never wanted me living across the country apart from them and that they did not see things working out to move to South Carolina for those few years. My first reaction was voiced frustration (wrong – I know!) because I had asked their direction before and this had never came up; if it had, I would have never pursued it as far as I did. Why did I go through the effort of asking for full time work, spending hours planning, and now spending hours studying if this was never going to work?

So . . . now what?? I still want the Bible training and educational training that I would have received at Bob Jones. Maybe I can find it elsewhere. Never once while I was pursuing this plan did it hinder my fellowship with Christ. I never felt out of His will although I never felt that He was literally commanding me to pursue it either. So, did He change His mind? Obviously not. What does He have for me now?

This weekend reinforced to me the fact that I never know what God has right around the corner. Tomorrow He may take a sharp turn down an unknown road. It may be confusing, shocking, and frustrating at first. But I know beyond all doubt that He will guide me in His perfect will if I give myself completely to Him. So, although this weekend has been filled with sleepless nights and hours upon hours of thought and prayer, I would not trade the place that I am today for anything.

Regardless of what position I am in I have everything in my Savior, Hero, Father, Brother, and Friend. My decisions are only made to remain in His will so that my fellowship with Him is never hindered. For without Him, I cannot continue on.