God has not yet revealed His plan and complete will to me. Maybe He never will because He knows my tendency to wander from Him and become independent. I am behind the backdrop of where He is working. And wow, from back here it sure looks like one big disastrous mess. People are leaving, multiple things have been pulled out from under me, and everything seems to be falling apart. Yesterday I finally hit bottom when yet another thing was pulled out from under me. Enough things have been taken that it has completely changed my identity. This revealed to me that my complete identity must be in Christ alone. Not in relationships, my hopes, plans, job, or even family. Who am I? A nobody who has been saved by grace and is now a child of God. This is my rock and foundation. It will never be changed.
Though my own mother and father forsake me, yet the Lord will take me up. He is my strength day by day. He is not as concerned with my happiness as He is with my growth and His glory. For this reason, I look forward to this fall with great anticipation and excitement. I cannot fathom all the things that the Lord is going to teach me and how much He will stretch me. It is a whole new step of faith that I am praying will force me to the next level of spiritual maturity. Not for the purpose of self-satisfaction but for the sole desire to be a purer vessel for my God, who first loved me, and has given me a love for Him.
My faith has been tested like never before. I have always mentally believed that a Christian should follow God's ways and obey His Word regardless of the outcome. Results are completely irrelevant. Obedience is what is all important to our Lord. Yet, never before has this been so practically tested. In a culture that distorts the image of God it seems unrealistic to follow His call. I am tempted to recognize the principles of Scripture only to say, "But Lord, it will never work in today's society. We are so far from truth today. Your command cannot be obeyed in real life." That which is not of faith is indeed sin. Am I willing to have things "not work" in order to follow God's ways?
I go through times of confidence and times of doubt. Please pray that I would accept His grace to exercise faith for the purpose of glorifying my Lord.
3 comments:
Red, green, yellow, blue, and purple; alone these are just simple colors. Take a few steps back and you see a beautiful painting of a meadow filled with flowers swaying in a gentle breeze. Those around you see the painting and admire it; they see a painting of a meadow filled with flowers although there are still some areas to be finished it’s still beautiful. You being the canvas see each color separately, each stroke as being unique. You alone and the artist alone know the difficulty of each stroke, the struggles and pain to make it perfect. But while you sit on your easel know this: you have people that come by and admire the progress and work of the painter; the painter always receives the glory for such a beautiful painting but the painting is still admired.
Despite people leaving know that you have an assume brother who’s always looking out for you. Even yesterday when I wanted to give you a hard time about the out of focus picture he was looking to protect you from a friend who wanted to raz you. (Side Note: I use auto focus on everything and my manuals aren’t great so don’t feel bad and continue practicing) God never put us in a situation we can’t handle; He’s all powerful so there’s nothing we can ever encounter beyond our limit if we rely on Him.
Be cheerful and know that although you may be going through a difficult time allowing the artist to finish His work will create something that others come to study and learn from. I’ll be praying for you.
~EMH~
Eric - great analogy! And my bro is completely awesome. :) Always defending me, protecting me...even when I have resented that at times it has always been something that I have relied on and truly been grateful for. Oh, and your comment about the pic totally did not offend me! (Takes more than that to get me bent outa shape) Anyhow, thank you for your encouragement and prayers! I appreciate it.
Lara - wow, isn't it amazing how quickly we forget the pain as well as the lessons we learned in that time? You're so right! And even looking back...at past hard times makes me realize that God has been so faithful through everything. You have got to stop telling me about songs that I don't have and can't listen to! ;-)
oh golly can i relate to you. yah, i was pretty much afraid of losing my identity when lara and chase left. i was like, yup, i'm gonna get dumped onto the floor, maybe occasionally even be put on a shelf somewhere. but pretty much i was trying to prepare for a fall of being completely rejected. which only shows my lack of faith and presence of pride because it's pretty obvious that my friends would NEVER do that at all!!
i think of a country song that...oh what's his face sings. ;) hehe, you've heard one country singer you'ver heard them all! ;) anywho, the line that sticks out to me is like the main line in the chorus. it goes: "life's not always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride." it's not a Christian song, but it's so true.
like, i've had plenty of not-so-beautiful days. but looking back, i've had an amazing life. i mean, God's been so good!! i wouldn't change a single thing that's happened. well, maybe one or two ;) but seriously, with God, life is beautiful! :D
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