Who am I?

The book of Colossians has had my undivided attention for the past two weeks. The Word of God is powerful, applicable, and sharper than any two edged sword! In this letter Paul has the overwhelming task of refuting false teaching that was creeping into the church. His approach to this task is incredible! He only mentions the false teaching a few times throughout the book. What does he focus on? Christ and Christ alone. When Christ is the center of all, false teaching is naturally done away with. Studying this portion of Scripture has totally opened me eyes to the fact that Christ is all and I am all in Him. Of course, I've always known that, but to know it by experience is completely different.

This morning I was thinking about Colossians and the verse that says that He is the head over all rule and authority. The sovereignty of God is something that I can have so much faith in! He is truly the ruler of all. Even thinking back over the last couple of years causes me to recognize how sovereign and good God is. When I was making a decision about going to Clark, the Lord clearly directed me to not go. For a long time it was hard for me. It didn't make sense and I even had a hard time explaining why I had made the decision that I did. All I knew was that I was in God's will and for me to go would be sin. Five months later, I'm looking back praising the Lord!! It is so clear to me now that the decision to not go was the God-honoring one for me. There's a list of a million reasons that it would be a disaster for me to be at Clark right now. I am so thankful for the Lord's leading and grace.

Beyond Clark, the Lord has changed my heart in so many areas in such a short amount of time. I know look back with laughter on views that I had only a year and a half ago. My laughter quickly turns to shame as I realize how foolish I was and how inconsistent my view was with Scripture! Looking back on what I used to think has given me a love and understanding for people who see things differently then I do. Hark, I will probably be saying the same thing in another year about what I think now! The Lord is so gracious and patient with each one of us when we have a teachable and repentant spirit before Him. The Christian life is not about perfection but about direction. If our relationship with the Lord is growing and we are dying more to self every day then we have reason to rejoice in the goodness of God!

As for my title, I think that I am finally getting to the whole point of this post! In these past couple of years, and in the last two months especially the Lord has humbled me in so many ways. I was struggling with some relationships as of late. When I would start to pray about it I found myself saying, "Lord, I know that you are sovereign, but I'm just tired. I don't understand. I can't do this anymore!!" This morning I recognized what an arrogant attitude I have had. I would say that I believe that God is sovereign but when things weren't working out I would complain and squirm. It is easy to say that, "Duty is mine and results are God's." But do I mean that? When He asks me to confront someone about something and humble myself before that person am I really willing to lay it all on the line? Am I willing to go through a painful and humbling experience with no assurance that it will improve anything in the situation? It doesn't matter if it improves the situation or makes it more disastrous. Obedience is my responsibility. The results are in the hands of the Lord. Who am I to question the results that the Lord has chosen?

"For in Him dwells all the fullness of deity. And you are complete in Him, who is the head over all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:9-10