My Heart of Stone Revealed

Last night I had a dream that has left me ashamed and frustrated with myself. In this dream I was in a little convenience store where the lady behind the counter told me about a lady in London who painfully and brutally killed herself when she was pregnant. As soon as I heard about a mother killing herself and that precious baby in such a way I started weeping hysterically. I was doubled over, weeping, shaking my head and mentally crying out to God. A friend was with me in this store and had to drive me home because I couldn't stop thinking and crying about these two lives. One of which was most likely spending an eternity in hell. Oh, and the precious baby. How could anyone do such a thing?

As with all dreams, I woke up to my heart pounding at 100mph. As I laid there the thought hit me that I've never truly wept over all those precious lives which are taken in America through the brutal act of abortion. I never wept when Terri Schiavo was slowly and painfully starved to death. In the past two years I have not found myself awake at night, weeping and crying out to God on behalf of millions of lost souls who may die without Christ and spend eternity in utter torment.

I'm completely ashamed of myself and my heart of stone. In the past week, I've cried as I thought about friends and my brother leaving for college. I've cried as I considered my dad (who is saved) dying. I must be the most selfish Christian on earth. Why is my heart so hard?