Arg! Will you believe it? Two days ago, I was yet again, "arguing" with almighty God about what He has asked me to do regarding attending Clark College next year. As if I know better than He does. *roll of eyes* I don’t know why this is taking me so long to get over. Well, actually I do know why. It’s a lack of faith. Simply put, it’s my sin. I’m so afraid of not having a “for sure” or “logical” plan. I guess it’s partly my pride as well. I can’t afford college without those two free years. Who will I be without a college education? Can I be successful? Why do I even care? Yesterday I kept asking myself what God’s definition of success was. Wow, my view and God’s view were different in this area and now I’m trying to redirect my whole way of thinking. In God’s eyes, success is obedience and obedience is success. He says that, to obey is better than sacrifice. He tells us that if we love Him, we will obey His commands.
As John Quincy Adams said, “Duty is ours; results are God’s.” That’s a humbling truth. Am I content to obey the Lord even if I never become successful in the eyes of the world? Am I content to vote for Biblical principles and work tirelessly to proclaim truth even if I do not see the results in my life time? Am I content to share the gospel with people week after week and never witness someone falling on their knees in repentance and faith? In my own strength, I am becoming weary. Weary of making sacrifices, denying myself, falling short and repenting. My weariness is evidence of my lack of faith in almighty God. He created me and He alone deserves honor and glory. I don’t deserve “success.” He established this nation on Biblical principles and He alone will be able to return it to its proper state. Only Jesus Christ can save the lost and regardless of how many people He allows me to proclaim His truth to, I don't deserve any of the glory.
I need to return to the foundation of faith. My prayer is that the Lord will give me an overwhelming desire to glorify Him and not myself. The thought of my own pride humbles me and the thought of God’s mighty power and faithfulness gives me the desire to press on and live only for His applaud.
7 comments:
What are you looking to do in life? Please God, or have the recognition of men? Learning is great but take it from a current college student; life with the world is hard. A degree if you aren't going to work is pointless, and it can cause pride. Everything you need to learn can be obtained outside of classrooms. The public education system is full of professors who know very little about their subject but think they are all that. Besides, God never said you have to have a degree to proclaim Him.
Lara - yeah, too true!
Eric - Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree with what you said, especially about a degree possibly causing pride. I wouldn't even be considering college at all if it wasn't for the fact that I want to be a nurse and you can't practice medicine without a degree. Why do I want to be a nurse? Well, the original goal was to use it on the mission field. But as of the past year, the Lord has been burdening my heart for my own nation more than ever. It's possible that my "mission field" is right here. Sometimes I find myself using the whole medicine thing as an excuse to get a degree though, because my flesh wants the recognition of men. So you can pray that I'll die to that and have clear direction from the Lord about whether or not I am to pursue nursing.
the more that thou saith, the more I have to comment on ;)
Al, you are such and encouragement to me! I love it that you are so open to post what you are going through in your walk with Christ. Every time I read your blog it makes me think about something or another and really humbles me. Thanks for being such a wonderful sister in Christ.
wow, allison...you know how to get ppl thinkin! ;) thanks so much for bein so open! i'll be prayin for you; i know what you're goin through. sometimes it's even hard to tell what the true motives are. it's like, "i think i'm doing this all for God's glory", but it's easy to slip away from that and get prideful in what you're doing. and then you see other people and you're like, "wow, i'm so humble compared to them." *rolls eyes* oh, not you specifically! anyhow, i kno what you're goin through! luv ya!
I remember these lyrics from an old song I've always had stuck in my head. It's made me think, alot.
The answer's in the Bible, take the time to search it out. Don't count on someone else, most of all when you're in doubt.
I'll be praying for you!
-Chris
So true Chris. Thanks for reminding me of the power of the Word of God, its absolute truth and application to every area of life. I appreciate your prayers. Luv ya bro!
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